Three batches, 180 graduands and a lot of emotions

It was 24^th December 2022, the second graduation day of our institution, happening almost after 4 years. Three batches of MBBS students who passed from our college, the 2014-15, 2015-16 and the 2016-17 batches, received their degrees on this day. Due to the COVID 19 pandemic the ceremony had been postponed several times for two of the batches and finally it was the day of celebration and wonderful memory-making for all of them. 

When such wonderful events happen in our lives, we just go through the present moment along with every other co-actor in the event. We do not realize the magnitude of emotions that they will evoke at a distant future. As I was participating and playing my small role in the graduation ceremony that happened on 24^th, two things were happening, I was making fresh and amazing memories, even as I was reliving the memories of my own graduation day 21 years go. 

 

Graduation day is a very important ceremony in the life of a medical graduate. It is the right of passage from being a learner and student into a practitioner of the art and science of medicine. It is the initiation ceremony, where senior medical practitioners welcome the fresh younger colleagues into the profession with a warm and affectionate embrace. It is the commitment of each new doctor to work in solidarity with other professional colleagues to fulfil a social contract. Be it the western graduation gown and cap ceremony, or the more Indianized version of graduation shawl and cap, the occasion is solemn and evokes a sense of seriousness of purpose and importance in the graduands. 

 

I was part of the team organizing the distribution of the degrees, awards, and certificates for all the graduands during the ceremony. I was engaged the whole of last week in arranging for it. The time allotted for distribution of degrees, certificates and awards was one hour. Therefore, the whole process had to run in an assembly-line-efficiency. So, we got together as a team, sorted, and organized all the medals, certificates batchwise and even rehearsed the whole process, timing it to increasing degrees of perfection each time. I had a mixed baggage of memories as I was reading out the name lists and sorting the medals. 

 

As I was sorting the medals some memories brought bright broad smiles and some brought a tear or two. The students had been naive wide-eyed boys and girls, of 17-18 when they joined. I recollected the times I would stay over in the boy’s hostel at night to keep vigil over the boys to prevent any incidents of ragging. Once a tall, hefty built boy ran to my room, I was wondering why he was approaching me. He entered the room and broke down into tears and requested me permission to go to his local-guardian’s home in the city to wash his pants as all his pants had been soiled in the rain. That is how vulnerable, confused, and awkward these boys were. And now he was graduating as a doctor! By mistake certificates and medals had been printed for students who had passed on to the spiritual world. Seeing their names brought immense sadness and I found myself crying thinking of what a major irreplaceable loss it was. 

 

Some students leave deep and lasting memories in the minds of the teachers. Though all teachers claim to be impartial, we all have our favorites and those whom we remember and cherish pleasant memories of. Some of my closest friends among students in these three batches, could not make it to the graduation ceremony, as they all had moved into different jobs and vocations and did not find time. When I sorted their certificates and medals and put them aside, our days together as student-teacher dyads flashed past my mind making be bleary eyed with tears of nostalgia and pleasant memories. One of them is far away in a rural hospital pursuing a post graduate degree. I remembered her incessant questions about medicine and life, her rapid speech, and her child-like innocence. I used to worry a lot about her as she was a very confused soul (much like me). But now she is following a good career path and I am relieved and happy for her. Another one of my favorites has moved out of the country to pursue his masters abroad. I don’t think he would have come to the ceremony even if he was in town. A very complicated person, but a delightful friend. One of them is one of my dearest but drifted away after college and is not keeping in touch. I worried about her and made some resolution to initiate a conversation with her, but never got to do it till now. Maybe tomorrow! Overall, I had mixed feelings. Excitement of seeing some of them and sadness that I was not seeing some. 

 

The day before the ceremony was a day of extremely high stress. All of us in various departments and handling various responsibilities worked overtime and stayed back late into the night and worked to make things perfect. A central government minister had been invited to present the degrees, certificates and medals to the graduands and the protocol was intense. The public relations person who came to meet the various staff in charge of different portfolios, created a sense of panic about the protocol and how everything had to be perfect. At one particularly late time in the night, I even thought, “what have we done? Have we converted a solemn academic ceremony into a political jingbang?” But I was proved to be wrong. Not only was the minister a good speaker, he also patiently stood there on the graduation stage with a pleasant smile and gave away degrees, certificates, and medals to 180 students. 

 

We had organized five large tables backstage to set up all the medals, certificates, trays, mementos, shawls etc. On the morning of the event, to my utter dismay, I found that the tables had vanished. Someone had taken them away. I searched for them and found them all engaged elsewhere for other purposes. Now, we had to innovate. We organized all the medals and certificates on the floor. 

 

The idea was not a great one, because we had to bend and pick up the medals and certificates each time in a super-fast pace, straining our backs and leaving them sore by the end of the ceremony. But there was no other choice. But the most amazing thing about the whole assembly-line process was the brilliant team of students and staff who participated. Energetic young students of the first and second year, a post-graduate resident and two of us, teachers joined hands to accomplish this formidable task of sorting, picking up, taking the medals and certificates in perfect order, giving it to the minister to award to the students who were called for receiving their degrees. I would dub them as the back-stage army of tireless volunteers who worked meticulously to distribute the medals and certificates. 

One of them was apprehensive to carry the lighted candle on stage to help in lighting of the ceremonial lamp. She feared melted wax burning her hand! But she braced herself up and did it anyways. When faced by demanding situations, some people just pull themselves together and do what is required. One of them was apprehensive that she may trip and fall while running from and to the front stage. But nothing of that sort happened at any point during the assembly line. Two young students who were originally not volunteers in the team, spontaneously joined in, and enhanced the efficiency of the assembly line. The senior faculty got down on the ground and did back breaking work to organize the medals and certificates. Overall, it was like an assembly line of ants marching together and carrying a large boulder of sugar on its back. All that we knew was the time it started and the time it ended. The entire period between these two points of time was one huge blur, with a flurry of activity like a brilliantly set up and well-oiled machine. 

 

The graduation ceremony was over at last, and we all breathed a huge sigh of relief. The best time of the graduation day function is the post event meet up and photos with graduands and their families. As I put back all left-over medals and certificates in my department and walked back to the hall to meet the students, a huge avalanche of love and affection crushed me and toppled me over. Student after student, they stopped me on my way and said hi. The happiness that we experienced on seeing each other was obvious. I was searching for my favorites in the ocean of yellow robes and found them. We ran towards one another and hugged in tight embraces. Tears, laughter, joy, hugs, handshakes, it was a pot-puri of amazing emotions. The highlight was when I met parents of one of my closest student-friends. They told me, “When I first sent away my son to Chennai, I was worried, but after he told us about you, we were relieved that he has another father away from home”. I was struck by a strong emotion on hearing that. “Sir, my daughter will not listen to even my wife or me, but if you say something she will blindly follow” said a father and I was humbled by the sheer responsibility that these words implied. I met the parents of another young graduate. They were from far south from an interior village. They were teary eyes with emotion of pride and happiness having seen their son receive the medal and certificate. I stood in front of them, joined my hands in a gesture of respect and said, “your son is one of the hardest working young doctors I have met, and he has a great future ahead”. The mother broke into tears, which she was obviously trying hard to hide. She joined her hands in vanakkam gesture and expressed a wordless, silent thank you. It was a priceless moment. Another student introduced me to his grandfather. The senior man well into his 80s held my hand and thanked me. He looked very paternal to me, and I touched his feet in respect. He got emotional, took out a sachet of holy ash (vibhuti) from his pouch and chanted a mantra and applied it on my forehead and blessed me. I had tears in my eyes. I couldn’t control myself. The amount of love I received was priceless. 

 

Wherever I turned I was greeted, wished, thanked. Students and now doctors came together and stood around me and we all talked. The feeling was pure and unadulterated. I needed this afternoon of love, affection, being respected and being acknowledged. Sometimes, we teachers go through an existential crisis when we feel we are teaching the same thing batch after batch without any obvious impact. Especially if you are a teacher of community medicine, the lack of glamour and appeal in serving the underserved in poorly equipped centers and remote villages often pushes students away from you. Students quickly outgrow the awe and the wonder they have for the subject after they come to terms with reality of the medical professional market forces that pushes everyone to do a post-graduate degree in a competitive clinical specialty or super-specialty. This makes some of us community medicine teachers question our own relevance in the medical college. But days like this reaffirm to me that there is space for kindness, love, compassion, and genuine interest in the development of a student, whatever the subject we teach. Most of the students who came and surrounded me probably did so because they remembered how I made them feel, how I empathized with them, related with them, and loved them, and not because of the lessons I taught them. This helped me understand that love, genuine interest, empathetic listening, and care are all relevant always. I am now fully charged for the next one year, till my next graduation day when I can again get my dose of re-affirmations and love. 

 

Just like how graduation day marks a major life changing phenomenon in the life of a student, it marks a day of commitment, affirmations and energizing for me as a teacher. It helps me find purpose in what I do. Sometimes in the long drudgery of life, we need such events to help us remember who we are what we stand for. I am glad we had our second graduation day on 24^th December 2022.